Well may they say God save the Queen...

In the history of embarrassing moments, never has there been such an epic embarrassing moment as when Barack Obama toasted the Queen while "God save the Queen" was playing.



I have done some pretty embarrassing things in my life. In a small town in Italy, I walked around for hours, before heading up to Switzerland, having a long piece of toilet paper dangling over the top of my jeans.

This experience was truly excruciating. Fortunatly my moment of shame was only witnessed by some random Italians and Swiss whom I will never see again. No cameras were there to record the event for posterity and it was not witnessed by the Queen!

O, Bama! Thank you this truly priceless moment that I can refer to everytime I disgrace myself in future. I can always stop and say to myself, "At least I didn't toast the Queen...."

May 21st

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The fear-mongers are feasting on end of the world predictions for May 21st.


If the world ends tomorrow, at least I won't have to go to work on Monday. If the world does not end, then I will be wishing it did when I go to work on Monday. World ending or going to work, either way it's a lose/lose situation.

When the inevitable collapse of humanity comes I don't plan on hiding timidly in a bunker, waiting for the zombie hordes to attack. Instead I will be one of those crazy post-apocalyptic bikers like in the Mad Max movies, going around causing mayhem.
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To this end I have done the following to prepare for the zombie apocalypse, (just in case)

1. Styled my hair into a mohawk and dyed it purple.
2. Put a safety pin through my nose for that scary mad biker look.
3. Filled the ATV with petrol so I can ride around wrecking havoc on the populace.
4. Decorated the ATV with dismembered dolls.
5. Changed my name to Night Rider.
6. Told my sweet domestic pets that they are to become a savage, marauding horde.
7. Had second helpings of dessert because I have got nothing to lose.
8. Watched Mad Max again to get some tips.

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If the world does not end....

1. See a hairdresser immediately.

2.Visit a doctor about that nasty infection caused by a home piercing.

3.Store the ATV until the next time the world is going end.

4.Reassemble the dismembered dolls and give them to needy children.

5. Change my name back to Countess Chichi

6. Take the pets to the pooch parlour to have the words, "Killer Dog" which had been spray painted on, washed off.

7. Not eat dessert again for month.

8. Send the Mad Max DVD back to Netflix

9. Wait until the next fringe group tries to instill the world with fear and do it all over again. :)
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