Time to come out of the closet, I love Birkenstocks!

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No dear reader, your eyes have not deceived you, the Countess not only wears Birkenstocks, but loves them. Once upon a time the word 'Birkenstocks' was enough to make me recoil in horror with vivid imaginings of their hairy legged wearers with uncared for feet. I am no hippy, let me make that clear, would a woman who owns an Uzi admit to that?

The thing is that living in Florida makes one do all kinds of weird and crazy things that one would never ever do in a civilised society with a more temperate clime. The heat does strange things to people. Ever seen an episode of 'Cops' and asked yourself why most of the action takes place in Florida? National News here is always full of dastardly crimes and bizarre ones too and one is never shocked to learn that they were most often committed in Flori-duh.

What a hideous pair.

The temperature here is approximately 5 degrees Celcius cooler than Hell. My feet need fresh air, one cannot abide by sweaty feet, never! So look on at me with scorn you fashionistas, stare at my exposed, but regal feet if you must, the Birkenstocks remain.

Birkenstocks are indeed ugly, not as ugly as Croc's though. Fortunately, I have not succumbed to the lure of those hideous looking fashion atrocities, despite their 'comfortable' reputation. It's just that in this humidity, a proper shoe gets so unbearably hot. I try to resist the lure of the cool and comfortable Birki in the name of all things good taste, but like an addict offered crack, I keep going back for more.

Having a wardrobe full of delectable and highly fashionable shoes that are always ignored in favour of the fashion outcasts is just another one of the tolls taken on one by the sub-tropics. Sometimes I look at my lovely collection, Prada, Dolce and Gabbana, Marc Jacobs and a whole lot of Tod's and feel completely sick with remorse that those darlings seldom come out of their sleeping bags.

It's Dolce and Gabbana, Hello?

Sleep my pretties.

Well may people mock my unsightly footwear, but the only thing stopping this unusually limber Countess from delivering a quick kick to their sneering faces is the fact that such a movement will make the Birki's fly off and possibly injure some poor bystander fatally.