Creepy Critters of Flori-duh, or WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE.

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Just when I thought the bug situation could not get any worse, I have found an infestation of LOCUSTS in my garden. I didn't even know there were still Locusts in the world, so far they have existed to me only in the form of a Biblical Plague. I may be a dumb blonde for not knowing they are still around eating people's gardens, but quite frankly I would rather not be acquainted with any kind of knowledge on these beastly buggers.

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One of the many locust's gorging on my garden.

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This place is full of bugs, overloaded with them. I have never seen such a plentiful supply of nasty creepy crawlies in my whole life. Prior to moving here I had seen maybe 2 Cockroaches my entire life. Now I am lucky if I don't see more than 2 a day. It's like a freak show. Some people call them Palmetto Bugs. Is that an attempt to titivate a Cockroach? Make it sound less offensive? Well as the saying goes, 'You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig', and a Palmetto Bug, is still a dirty Cockroach.

I'm a walking smorgasboard for mozzies who voraciously feast on my obviously tasty blood. Those suckers.

People know Australia for it's venomnous snakes but I have only ever seen one snake in my entire life downunder, and it was dead. I have had snakes in my front garden, on the back patio and a few in the backyard. Just the other day I saved one from my cat Runty who was acting like a gaoler at Abu Gharib as he tortured the poor snake.

Runty, he looks cute enough but to the snakes and gecko's of Tampa, he is Ivan Milat.

It's just plain gross. Florida, your heat and humidity, dentist's and hairdressers are punishment enough, must you inflict these noxious insects upon me too?

Locust update; I sprayed the little blighters with a solution of citrus mouthwash and citrus dish washing detergent as advised by a local. Not sure how successful this was just yet. I like the idea of homemade remedies but am quite fond of the idea of blasting those bugs into oblivion with a nuclear strength chemical pesticide. Really they are hideous, just getting up close to them so I could squirt the stuff was harrowing. I also learned that locusts leave large and plentiful deposits all over the place. I thought they were laying eggs and was spraying the supposed larve, which I thought happened to look a lot like turds, only to find out they were in fact the latter. So I spent some time in the garden, in the hot sun spraying locust crap with mouthwash? Surely there is a better way to have spent the day.