Things I hate about America

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Dentists

While there may be excellent ones out there, every dentist I visit is a barbarian, and I apologise to the barbarians for unfairly comparing them to dentists.

When I call my current dentist the Butcher of Bombay and find him infinately better than my last one, something is obviously wrong. My first dentist here gave me a crown. Before fitting the final porcelain cover, a temporary cap was put in place. I spent a week in intense pain. Finally I took a look in my mouth and found a white pus like substance. Oh no, an infection I thought! As I attempted to clean that muck out, I found it was in fact a piece of my skin from my cheek that had been scraped down when the cap was fitted. This piece of skin was still attached to my cheek, and was also stuck under the cap. How very lovely. No wonder it hurt. I managed to remove the skin from under the cap, and then proceeded to pull the skin off my cheek, only to watch this hunk of my flesh quickly decompose in my hand, UNBELIEVEABLE. Unsurprisingly, the pain quickly started to die down. I had spent a week in that condition.
When I returned to the dentist and relayed my sorry experience it was met with a simple shrug of the shoulders.

Hairdressers

After living here in 1999-2000, I returned to Australia and my regular hairdresser there spent A YEAR repairing it. Now I fear there is no return from the damage being wrought by a bunch of clowns that profess to be hairdressers when a trained chimp could do a better job, blindfolded. I won't go into detail here as my previous post explicitly outlined the atrocities being done to my hair. I will say this, I am not happy at all about the fact that everytime I look in the mirror, big bird is staring back at me. I love gold, but as an adornment, not a hair colour. I would be quite happy to have a canary diamond ring, a canary handbag or even a blooming canary sitting on a perch making sweet canary music, but atop my head? NO WAY.

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Self portrait.

Television

I have never in my life seen such a complete and utter lack of quality programming on the TV. We have cable with hundreds of stations and it seems that all of them screen absolute rubbish. When I eagerly look forward to Seinfeld each day, even though I have seen every episode multiple times, one knows something is lacking. When the highlight of my viewing week is the most degenerate, degrading, intellectually comatose reality program, Rock of love 1, Rock of Love 2 and Rock of love Bus, then really the situation has reached critical mass. If watching a washed up old has been pop star (Bret Michaels) who wears more make up than most drag queens, attempting to find a love interest among a bevy of skanky strippers and porn stars, is the only thing entertaining on telly, then things have reached an all time low. What I wouldn't give for a night's viewing of the ABC or SBS. No one here knows what Inspector Rex is, much less cares.

Will I ever find a decent dentist who does not cause more pain then necessary, who does not create more problems every time a procedure is done? I should add that the teeth where the crown was fitted hurt frequently, as opposed to pre-dental work when they did not hurt, AT ALL. Additionally, cavities worked on by the Butcher of Bombay have also been the source of much grievance when previously they were the source of NONE.

I have made the rule never to use expletives in my blog, it was with great restraint, and some backspacing that I have managed to carry it off in this post. The words in capitals however do denote shouting.

MY FAMILY IS NOT HERE and I miss them terribly.

What I like about America.

No one here knows who Kevin Rudd is.

Home shopping channels.

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NOT HAPPY.......JAN