More atrocities committed against the Countess

It never ceases to amaze me, just how much things seem go awry here. If I am not bemoaning the lack of proper footpaths, the ditches full of stale water that breed mozzies, the heat, the humidity, the sight of chubby thighs rubbing together when too tight shorts are worn, then something is quite wrong indeed.

I hate to sound like a whinger, but, enough is enough. Today I went to a beauty salon, a nice one to have my eyebrows waxed and tinted. Nature has not blessed me with dark eyebrows or lashes so I artificially keep them nice and brown.

I normally go to the Salon at Saks, as you may remember from an earlier post, the Coiffer there massacred my hair and I ran with what little burnt out scraps I had left to another Salon. The trouble is, I really did like the lady who did all the Beauty work. It was expensive and the ever frugal Colonel convinced me to try the local and much cheaper salon.

What a screaming nightmare. My eyebrows are uneven and crooked, one is a bare thin strip that has not been tinted all the way with strips of my skin ripped off. I went back to get them to re-tint as only half of it had been done. What you see is the result of the second visit, it's completely rubbish. What a bunch of treacherous shysters robbing me of my cash.

Look at the hideous shape of both eyebrows? Horror.

Good thing I didn't get my lashes tinted. I asked if they used vegetable dye and no, they use a normal SEMI-PERMANENT! Have you picked yourself up from the floor dear reader?? You know the kind of semi-permanent hair dye that makes one go blind if it gets in the eye? The kind that is banned here in many states. The kind that FDA has stated are a danger? When vegetable dye is safe and widely used, why oh why would anyone take such a risk and use hair dye on the eyes? Furthermore, if the bimbo who brutalised my eyebrows got anywhere near my lashes with that stuff I would surely be blind by now.

A huge piece of my skin was ripped off by the wax. It's so painful. One good thing, notice the luscious dark lashes, courtesy of Latisse. I blogged earlier about my experiment with the eyelash growing drug. It really works. I actually have darker lashes that are long and even curl.

I shall be walking around town looking very Emo with my fringe dragged down on one side to cover the mutilated brow. Better to look like an albino Emo than Bozo the disfigured freaking clown.

America, I am already down, stop kicking me in the guts. Please.