My life as a Dog

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Our two new dogs arrived today. It was so sad to see their owner part with them. She tearfully helped me get them into the Jeep. Getting a couple of chubby mutts into a high two door car is no easy task.

One of the dogs is a Shepherd/Labrador mix called Susie, but that really is a bit of a commonplace name for a dog of distinction. I am thinking of changing it to something similar but a bit more...fancy. Lady Susan Renouf perhaps? She managed to get up into the Jeep with a bit of effort, but the other one, a fat little Basset Hound had to be hoistered up. His legs are so cute and stocky. They behaved extremely well on the drive, Lady Susan however kept putting her paw on the steering wheel.

The Basset Hound is called Toby, but again, that needs changing. I am thinking of Tony Harrison, it sounds a bit like Toby. The Colonel and I are addicted to The Mighty Boosh and one of our favourite characters in the show is Tony Harrison, that pink little Kinder Surprise look-a-like, famous for saying, "This is an outrage!"

I took the dogs for a couple of walks today but they are old things and got tired pretty quickly. Right now Lady Susan is asleep at my feet, snoring in a most undignified manner. While Tony Harrison is demanding I rub his tummy with my foot.

It is such hard work having dogs after becoming used to my low maintenance cats, but it reallly is wonderful having these beautiful beasts around.

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Good News

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After a serious communication issue, or as I prefer to call it, a complete debacle, it seems I am to be paid for my editing work after all. The employer realised that a series of stuff ups-- they thought I was not going to complete the project and gave it to somene else when in fact I was hard at work on it-- had occured and decided to compensate me for my efforts. They like my work so much that they have offered me two new jobs. Brilliant!

My editing tools; Ruby Pencils.

All those tears yesterday were for nothing. The wine used to drown my sorrows was completely well worth it though.

Wait, I have even more good news. A lady I work with is moving to Nebraska and is unable to take her dogs with her. When she told me I was so upset for the poor mutts who were about to be shipped off to the pound. One is a pure bred Basset Hound, I know he will be adopted in the wink of an eye. The other is a Bitsa, (bitsa this, bitsa that) and quite an old girl at that. The poor love had been adopted from a shelter over 7 years ago after languishing in the canine prison for over 6 months. When hearing the story I could not help but offer to take them. Might as well keep them together.

I am on the waiting list to adopt a German Shepherd from the pound as I just can't bring myself to purchase one from the puppy mills. I guess now I will have to wait as 4 cats and three dogs would really be over doing it, even for me.

Thank goodness for 40 acres of woodland for the dogs to romp around in. I met the dogs today and they are lovely. They didn't try to kill my cats so that is a very good thing. I wonder if they will all coexist happily or if the cats will wage war on the new mutts.

Mrs. Slocombe has been doing very well and the other cats are not too bothered by her, but so much change at once is going to be very stressful for my little darlings.

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How do you like them apples?

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The Colonel recently told me that I don't eat enough fruit.

Problem solved, an order of Mrs. Prindables fabulous caramel apples arrived today. *wink*

The Spring sampler included caramel covered pretzels. I'm not a great fan of pretzels, but they do look so tasty with those pastel coloured smarties.

I love American food, especially the stuff which is really, really bad for one's health, sadly.

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Mrs Slocombe--revealed.

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Our new cat is fitting in nicely. Mrs Slocombe came to us from the animal shelter last Thursday, and she has endeared her furry self to us already.


She is a very cuddly, affectionate kitty. Right now she is laying on me, with her cheek pressed up against mine, snoring. Not very ladylike but I don't care one bit. She is a furry little cuddle muffin, a complete class-act.

Mrs. Slocombe, I heart you!

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Easter is obviously upon us when.......

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1. The Easter Bunny frolicks around in my backyard.

2. The Countess consumes extraordinary amounds of Cadbury Creme Eggs.

3. My Peeps come to visit.

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Mrs Slocombe

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I really need to control my impulse buying. Today I went out to do some errands on a much appreciated day off. I came home with the groceries, the post, and a new cat.

We already have three of them, this new acquisition makes me an official crazy cat lady. I wonder if they have a guild I can join.

I stopped by the animal shelter to volunteer my copyediting and proofreading services. I have read their newsletter and could barely keep my ruby red pencil in my pocket, I wanted to start scribbling on it immediately to correct grammatical errors.

In Tampa, I spent some time doing volunteer work at the local shelter but I had to give it up. It was just too heartbreaking for me. I wanted every dog that came in and cried when I couldn't save them all. By using my copyediting skills, I can volunteer in some small way at least.

While waiting to speak to someone regarding this, I wandered over to the cat area. I was asking for trouble. How could I not come home with a new addition to the family?

I chose a very friendly cat with a stumpy tail. A 'special' cat. Not only did her half-a-tail tug on my heartstrings, but she was the friendliest one, coming up to me for lots of attention.

She was put into a cardboard box carrier, a very unglamourous mode of transport I might add, and placed on the front seat of the Jeep, after I had moved the shopping. She was so well behaved on the way home, but she did disgrace herself I am sorry to say. I am afraid the malodorous odour she left on the front seat will remain for some time. Oh dear.

We have called her Mrs. Slocombe, in honour of my favourite character from 'Are you Being Served.' Currently, she is ensconced under the kitchen counter, refusing to pose for photographs or be interviewed. Hopefully she will soon consent to a photo shoot so you can all see what a cutie-pie she is!

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Neighbours

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Neighbours,

Everybody needs good neighbours
With a little understanding

You can find the perfect blend......

Theme tune from "Neighbours"

One thing is for certain. I am not living on Ramsey Street, the fictional Melbourne location where people are so nice.

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My new neighbours are not churchy Harold Bishop types. No indeed.

Oh Harold!

In Tampa we had wonderful neighbours. They would look after our cats when we went away and were always so nice and friendly. The Colonel and I miss them terribly.

Our new neighbour made the front page of the local newspaper, he's on the run, armed and dangerous.
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Perhaps this country life is not quite so quaint and innocent as I first thought.
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Welcome to my boring life.

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Finally, a day off. It seems that I have been constantly working the past week. I slept in until midday and spent the rest of the day tooling around.

"It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade." ~Charles Dickens

To my great delight, I found some flowers in bloom out in the garden. Violets, a favourite of mine, and some pretty white ones, I have no idea what they are. Tulips are begining to come up, the lilac tree is budding, the garden is just about to burst into vibrant life!

This is my first spring up on the mountain so I have not seen the garden in full bloom. It is exciting watching all the changes going on out there!

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I found this giant ant hill, crawling with bull ants. I got too close and had the little buggers crawling on my feet, oh no! They have such nasty, stinging bites too. Lesson learned, never wear Birkenstocks around an ant hill. What a moron. The Colonel had to come and rescue me, then retrieve the Birki's which I had kicked off in a frenzy while trying to shake the ants off my feet.

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"Now every field is clothed with grass, and every tree with leaves; now the woods put forth their blossoms, and the year assumes its gay attire." ~Virgil

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In a jam.

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We are having some guests over today so I made jam-drop biscuits. I have previously posted the recipe for these, but couldn't resist talking about them again. I often turn to those little beauties because they are so quick and simple to make, yet taste delicious.

I also made some homemade blackberry jam to fill them with. I love homemade jam, especially because I know it is not being filled with preservatives or any other nasty things that might be included for the consumption of us poor unsuspecting folk.

It looks so dark and luscious while boiling away, almost jewel like.


Half of the biscuits were made using Quince and Rose petal jam. Quince is such an old fashioned fruit. I wonder if I can grow Quince trees up here, that would be very handy.


The jam laden dough looks like a chubby little coin, so tempting to just pop into one's mouth, uncooked. Oh I know we are warned against eating raw cookie dough, it can be bad for one's health, supposedly. Well I like to live on the wild side of life dear reader, born to be wild, born to eat raw cookie dough, I shan't be stopped...muahaha



The biscuits turned out really well, now I just have to stop the Colonel from giving the whole batch away as he did with my yo-yo's I still have not found custard powder. :)

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Shaken, not stirred

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"My name is Rose, I'm a Scorpio and a survivor", said the strange, and yet sublime Rose Hancock-Porteous. To echo that statement, my name is Countess Chichi, I'm a Sagittarius and a survivor. While coming home from work today I had a little bingle on the mountain road. I managed to not only survive, but come home in one, albeit slightly frazzled, piece.

Rose Hancock-Porteous or a tranny, can't be quite sure. http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/09/30/rose_porteous_wideweb__430x267.jpg

Yesterday I blogged about tearing up the mountain like Peter Brock, only without the mad driving skills. Perhaps I was tempting fate as today the mud had its revenge. It was not entirely my fault, I hasten to add. The mud is so thick and sloppy that if I drive too slow the car will get stuck. This necessitates my ascending with a bit of speed. My lead foot dictates that I drive up the tortuous road with perhaps a little more speed than is strictly needed.

Going up is a far bumpier experience than going down. I quite enjoy the whole bouncing around bit, it makes me feel like the Leyland Brothers travelling all over the countryside. Click here to listen to the Leyland Brothers theme tune.

Muddy wheels on the jeep.

We had colder temperatures today and as it happens, quite a bit of snow. Not pleasant conditions to be stuck in. Up the road I went, jouncing all over the place, quite enjoying myself while the car wobbled frenetically all over the road.

The wheels get stuck in ruts and that sends the car violently swaying from side to side, quite like riding the Dodgem cars at Luna Park. It was so much fun in fact that I sunk the pedal lower and started yelling, "Yeehaw", like some mad slack jawed yokel. I admit it was not countess like but it was ever so much fun and I got too carried away to bother with fancy lady behaviour.

Luna Park, photograph is my own.

Reality struck quite violently when the back of the Jeep spun to the left and turned the car swiftly. From the drivers seat I could see the steep drop down the side of the mountain. It had been to my right, now it was directly in front of me.

Hitting the brakes, I managed to avoid completely going over the side, well the trees I hit helped also. Fortunately, my blokey bush Jeep is equipped with a massive bumper bar so no damage was sustained. I did however get bogged and had a very difficult time getting out. By the time I got home I was wet and cold and covered in mud. My fancy threads were looking more light brown than black. How on earth did I manage to get mud on my crotch? That is one of life's mysteries that quite frankly, I don't care to know the answer to.

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I'm home safe and sound in front of a lovely wood fire, but am slightly worried about going the way of Grace Kelly next time. Should I end up driving off the side of the mountain you can rest assured dear reader, I will be Yeehawing all the way to the bottom.
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Queen of the mountain

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Mud, mud, mud. How I loathe that stuff. The snow has melted away leaving that murky mess in its place. There is so much mud up here I could open up a spa, specializing in mud masks. Perhaps I could romp around outside in my gumboots pretending to be an old hippie at Woodstock.

http://www.lookingforadventure.com/photopages/woodstockphoto32.htm

The jeep is encrusted with the sticky substance that looks remarkably like the contents of a baby's nappy. The road is full of deep ruts and dangerous crevices. Driving up and down is an adventure indeed. Coming home with the shopping yesterday was a particularly spectacular ride. Jouncing around like the Energizer Bunny, the car was all over the place and I almost went off the road a couple of times. Surprisingly the eggs made it home unscathed. I was sure they would have been smashed up in the turbulent ride.

A part of me quite enjoys the drive. I get carried away and imagine I am racing in the World Rally Car Championship, or racing around the mountain at Bathurst. Look out Peter Brock, Countess Chichi is coming and her Tod's wearing feet are made of lead!

The Colonel used the tractor to even out a part of the road, it's lovely, but there is a big section that needs to be worked on. Come on Colonel, get on that tractor and get to work, this Countess is not made for driving in the mud. I used to drive a Peugeot for crying out loud. My darling little car, called Zsa Zsa, was a metallic red beauty. She had only been on civilised city roads, much like me, until now.

I have started working at a department store in town. Quite a departure for me. It is a nice change though, quite refreshing not to go to work and have obstreperous children swearing at me, (not that most of my students were like that). It may still happen at my new job though, it's early days yet.
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The paycheck is welcome right now for this Countess does like to shop. I can't help it, Carol Brodie will insist upon selling gorgeous gems that must be owned!

A new piece in the Rarities collection by Carol Brodie. How scrumptious. Just the piece I need around my neck as I traverse the muddy trails.

The problem is, I arrive at work in all my Countess finery each day, with crusty patches of dried mud spoiling my fancy ensemble. I take a wet hand towel to wipe some of it off but somehow scraps of mud always seem to escape my eye. I must look like such a hobo.

My application to obtain my teaching credentials is underway. There has been a ridiculous delay that has my blood boiling. As a foreign educated teacher I need to have my academic transcripts evaluated. It has cost almost 300 dollars so far. Crikey!

It has taken way too long so I called up student records at Melbourne University today. I was told that a piece of my application was missing. Had anyone contacted me to request it? No. The worst part is that I had in fact included the document in my original application. They lost it. Oh it was nothing important, only a photocopy of my drivers licence! I take solace in the fact that the University of Melbourne is so careful with confidential information. I mean, it's not like Identity theft happens everyday is it?

They tried to tell me that I had not included the document with my application. Ummmm..it was STAPLED to the application. What craziness is going on over there?

Right now I am busy working on starting up my new venture, an editing and proofreading business, and my department store job. Perhaps I may decide not to go back to teaching at all, I am considering it.

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Going Runty

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Since moving to the mountain our 3 cats have been kept indoors. We worry about them going outside and ending up as snacks for some of the wild animals that roam these woods.

The cats just hate being inside all day and I can't stand to see them prowling around doors trying to bolt out. It must be so miserable to be locked in the house all day when outside the windows they can see lush grass, which they so love to eat.

Today I finally gave in and let them dart outside to explore the new surrounds. Two of them were completely freaked out and refused to go off exploring. They stood just outside the doorway and ran back in when I tried to close the door. Once inside they whined and cried, wanting the door to be opened again. It might be convenient for them to have doors left ajar, but there are way too many flies around to allow the kitties this little indulgence. What a couple of pusscakes they are.

Romeo staying close to home.

I finally got them out and shut the door before they could run in. Tiger, or as I prefer to call her, Princess Bitch-Face, ran straight under the deck and hid there, whilst Romeo refused to leave the deck, staying very close to the door.

Tiger in her fortress of solitude.

The dauntless Runty was the only one with the courage to go out. He has been all over the yard, around the pond chasing birds, harrassing squirrels and laying in the sun. I caught him stalking the two Blue Jays who like to eat from our bird feeder.

I have so much work to do right now. My editing business, once small, is going online. The expansion has begun, look out world, bad grammar everywhere is going to be hunted down and eradicated!

Being a computer simpleton, I had to use Wordpress.com to build the page as everything else is way too hard. It is a work in progress but hopefully it will end up being slick and professional and facilitate my editing business becoming a much bigger enterprise. The older I get, it seems the more I enjoy checking grammar. Perhaps it is some kind of mental disorder. *wink*

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Despite my plans to really do some hard work on the page today, I keep getting distracted by all the goings on outdoors. The birds are producing a symphony of harmonious sounds, the Blue Jays are hanging around the house, little finches are darting hither and thither. Everywhere I look there is something beautiful to see.

Runty should have some supervision on his first outing so I keep going outside to follow him around like an over protective mother! Just being outside soaking up all the natural beauty makes me a happy camper indeed, and I keep finding reasons for having to go out there.

In Florida it was unbearable to be outside for at least 9 months of the year, unless one likes being bathed in perspiration that is. It is simply too inelegant to persipire, so I kept myself tucked away in an air-conditioned enviroment.

Being able to get out and walk around, do some gardening, go for a walk or even just sit and enjoy the fresh air is something I have not been able to do for years. No longer do I open the door to be assaulted by a thick wall of oppressive humidity.

Getting back to work right now, after having wasted so much time is one option, putting on my sun hat and heading back outside to witness Runty frolicking through the brush is another. Now where did I leave my hat...

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Grammar Rules

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Right now I'm in the middle of an editing job, a very easy one I might add thanks to the writer's splendid skills. Years ago I thought grammar was the most boring thing ever. Yes I am an English teacher so I had to deal with it, but I always tried to make my grammar classes as interesting as possible. The question remains, is grammar ever interesting?

I wonder who could ever possibly answer that question with a yes. Wait a second, something strange and perverse has happened to me, it seems I could answer quite resolutely that grammar is indeed fascinating.

What happened to my life? Long gone are the days of needing excitement and adventure. It feels like I woke up one day suddenly middle aged. Where did all these lines around my eyes come from? Why do I get these aches and pains? Why the heck am I suddenly given to fits of rapture over perfect grammar?

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The only time I am not bothered by lapses in perfect grammar is when I see signs in Engrish. Oh those lovable foreign language speakers who do their best to translate into English. Bless their little hearts for all that effort and the sometimes spectacular results.

Those quirky little Engrish signs are just so amusing. Here are some pictures I took while visiting China.

Engrish.com is a website dedicated to the language faux-pas made by our foreign friends. It is well worth a look, it always has me in stitches.

Wherefore art thou Romeo?

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The cats have discovered the window box at last. Its taken them almost 2 months but finally the little darlings have learnt that they can warm in the sun while taking in the view.

While outside today I spotted Romeo laying out in all his ginger glory. He did not seem pleased by my appearance with a camera. Notice him casting me evils?

Mycathatesyou.com

Despite slowly transforming into a crazy cat lady, I’m no cat whisperer. If only I could read his kitty thoughts. Well perhaps that would not be a fine skill to possess as I am sure Romeo’s mind would be shouting invectives at the crazy cat lady outside the window, waving a camera in his little face. Romeo is such a hater you see.

If looks could kill.

As we were having visitors in the late afternoon, I made Lemon Yo-Yo's for afternoon tea. They were very tasty, well the one that I had was anyway. I would have liked to sample a few more but the Colonel insisted our guests take any remaining biscuits home with them.

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How very nice of him. He assured them that we, and by we he meant me, could make some more. Certainly, what a lovely idea it would have been had I not used the last of my custard powder to make that particular batch. Custard powder is a distinctly British/Australian item, its not sold on the shelves here. How very nice of the Colonel to give the remaining ones away, why am I not smiling?

Lemon Yo-Yo's

175 g butter

1/3 cup icing sugar, sifted

Finely grated zest of 1 lemon

1 1/3 cups flour

1/2 cup custard powder

Lemon filling

20 g butter, softened
2 drops lemon essence

Finely grated zest of 1/2 lemon

6 tbsp custard powder

1 tsp boiling water

1. Heat oven to 180C. Line two baking trays with nonstick baking paper.

2. In a bowl, beat butter, icing sugar and lemon zest together until thick and pale. Sift flour and custard power into the butter mixture and stir to combine into a dough.

3. Roll dough into 20 even-sized balls, place on prepared trays and flatten with a fork. Bake for 15 minutes or until pale golden, then remove to a wire rack to cool.

4. To make lemon filling, combine all ingredients in a bowl and beat until smooth and creamy.

5. When biscuits are cold sandwich two together with the lemon filling.
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