Food Glorious Food

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The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."

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Julia Child

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Last night we visited Charley's Steakhouse in Tampa. It's a part of a group of restaurants called the 'Talk of the town'. That was a little off putting to me, as Talk of the Town is the name of a notorious Melbourne brothel. No connection fortunately, but one could argue that in both venues love is for sale. Indeed, it was love at first sight when I set my eyes on that 12 oz Fillet Mignon.

The waiter bought out a tray of raw meat to display what they had to offer. Again, an odd resemblance to the Melbourne establishment of the same name I am sure. How very unusual but one tried to act unfazed, as though one were a part of the crowd that regularly eats at quality establishments.

Instead of acting with cool aplomb, I laughed like a fresh country bumpkin at the raw meat wrapped in 'glad' wrap. How embarrassing. In my defense I had ordered a grasshopper cocktail, my absolute favourite and it had been delivered in a soft drink sized glass. That's a whole lot of cocktail for someone like me, a confirmed 2 pot screamer.

The waiter proceeded to hold up the bits of steak, using a torch to light up and highlight the fat in each piece. Most of his speech was lost on me due to being a tad tipsy and overwhelmed by the fact that he was holding up plastic wrapped pieces of raw meat and talking about them like a butcher. Surreal indeed. What happens to that meat? After being carried around all evening does it get cooked and served to some unlucky beggar who orders their meal late in the evening?

When asked if I wanted the house salad my mouth began flapping yet again and I asked if the salad was a part of the meal. What possessed me to say out loud that I don't believe in paying extra for salad when one could get it for free by scrounging around at the side of the road. It's a fair point though, besides, do I look like someone who likes salad? Let's not beat around the bush, I'm not a rabbit and have no desire to be fed like one.

When the salad arrived the waiter began using the black pepper shaker over the plate. My head was swimming by this time with a stupid grin plastered on my face, thanks to the abundance of grasshopper, but after quite a while I became aware of a 'stillness' around the table. Was everybody sitting looking at me? At this point I became cognizant of the fact that indeed they were and blurted out, 'Are you waiting for me to tell you to stop?'.
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Apparently he was and had continued to add the pepper waiting for a signal to stop. Everyone fell about laughing, at me, not with me, and my salad looked as though Mount Stromboli had erupted and emptied her entire pit of black ash on my plate. Fortunately, despite this mishap being a result of my stupidity, the now offensive salad was taken from me.

An evening spent with top shelf company, many laughs, the odd ribald joke, from me of course, and plenty of mirth. Could not have asked for a better evening.

The fillet mignon was so scrumptious. The bathrooms had chandeliers and wing backed chairs, what luxury. I was able to pocket 6 of the free mints in the bathroom, oh they were lovely. How could one rate Charley's at anything but 5 stars???

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The grasshopper is the only alcoholic beverage I ever indulge in. It's simply too delicious, but no one here bothers to put the chocolate shavings on the top which makes me feel very ripped off.

Grasshopper

Ingredients:
3/4 oz cream
3/4 oz creme de cacao, white
3/4 oz creme de menthe, green
Preparation:
Pour the ingredients into a cocktail shaker with ice cubes.
Shake well.
Strain into a chilled cocktail glass

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Joke : A Grasshopper walks into a bar, the barman says, "Hey we have a drink named after you,"

The Grasshopper says, "What Fred?"

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